Umm Okay?

Today I met my sister in law for coffee at Starbucks. I told my kids that their cousin was sick, so they wouldn't be able to play with him, just say "hi." So we grabbed our coffees, hung out for a bit, then went on our ways. On the way home my older son asked if his cousin was still sick, so I said yes. My younger son asked if he could have some medicine, and I told him no, because he wasn't sick. So he starts screaming and crying...for medicine. Then he dropped his shoe, and started crying even more. I think it's time for his nap...

Mama Naps vs. Baba Naps

Baba is napping. Me, "Shhh okay let's go play downstairs for two hours and keep it quiet while Baba is napping."

Mama's attempt at napping.  Pop in a DVD, give the kids preference (I normally try and choose the longest running one, obviously), settle in, and lay down. 10 minutes in, "Mama, I ate my cream cheese." "Okay." 5 minutes later, "Mama, I want pizza." Get up and grab a snack. "Mama, I pooped."  Get up and change diaper. "Mama, mama I want water." "Go find your cup." "Mama, come wipe me!" Get up and wipe behind. "Mama, I want my shoes." "We're not going anywhere." "Mama, I don't want George, I want Scooby Doo." "You chose George, too bad." My older son climbs on top of me and professes his love for me and starts kissing my face. The younger one follows suit, because of course he has to copy big brother.  After about an hour and a half of this, I decide it is futile to even attempt a nap, and I clocked in maybe 15 chopped up minutes of sleep. Not too bad, I guess. At least it wasn't a grumpy nap, THOSE are the worst.

Grumpy Nap (v.) - waking up from a nap even more tired and in a worse mood than when you woke up.

Observation #389

At the end of the day, (sometimes) there is nothing more relaxing than cleaning your house, so that it doesn't look like it's occupied by two feral monkeys and their keepers.

The Perils of Having Children

I have been needing to clean my car. I have been meaning to clean my car. I finally got around to cleaning my car. I believe it has been approximately a year since I gave it a good vacuuming. It has accumulated leaves, crumbs, crackers, and miscellaneous broken toys since then. I have a really small car, not a mini van, so you would think it would have taken too long to give it a good cleaning. It took me almost an hour to clean it and pick up all the accrued garbage and junk. I was so proud.

Here is my dilemma.  Once we take a drive longer than 5 minutes, I have the issue of starving children that need their snacks, and the car gets dirty again. While it is so easy and tempting to tune their whining and screaming out, it is much easier to just let them snack on something while we're driving. Maybe I should just stay home for a few weeks, and enjoy the sanctity of my newly cleaned car. Maybe...

My Little Helper(s)

This morning, my two year old announced that he fed the cat. I thought he meant his big brother fed the cat. So I told my older son to go feed the cat, he went to feed her, and came running up. "Mama, you already fed her!" I was confused, there was no way she didn't finish the food I put her the night before. So I freak out, thinking she was somehow trapped in a closet that was left open, then shut, without someone knowing she was in there. I went looking for her, and she was fine. What I found, however, was a mess of cat food and water everywhere. There was cat food in the water, there was water in the cat food, and there was cat food all over the floor.  My two year old came to me again and said, "I fed the cat." So helpful, he must have traumatized the poor cat in the process...

Another Husband Observation

Lately, my husband has been trying to be extra helpful, which has been great. Today, he had an epiphany.

"Man I'm really tired! Cleaning up after myself is exhausting!"

Yup he said it, not me, hallelujah!!! It made me smile, and I replied, "Yeah, imagine trying to clean up after you, and two boys." I probably should have left the snarky comment to myself, but I think he truly appreciated what I have to deal with on a regular basis.

Observation #912

This is how a typical request conversation with my two year old goes... (translated from Arabic baby talk of course).

"Can I have water?"  "I forgot to pack it." "Oh."

"Can I have water?" "I forgot to pack it." "Oh."

"Can I have water?" "I forgot to pack it." "Huh???" "I forgot to pack it." "Oh."

"Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I want water." "I forgot to pack it." "Oh."

"Can I have water?" "We're going to Starbucks, I'll get you water from there." "Okay."

"Can I have water?" "I'll get you from Starbucks." "Oh. Okay."

"Can I have water?" "What did I just say?" "Huh???" "What did I just say?" "Can I have water?" "We'll get from Starbucks." "Oh, okay Starbucks water."

"Can I have water?" "..." "MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Can I have water???!!!"

This was the entire conversation during a 10 minute card ride.
PS Starbucks and its water have saved me in more ways than I can recount.

Observation #479

I love the self serve frozen yogurt places. It's healthier than ice cream, and I get to pick my toppings.  This is also when we begin to run into problems.

1. Sample cups. I will sample every flavor, and those levers dispense A LOT of frozen yogurt. So you've already begun the ingestion process and the calorie party, before you've even begun...

2.  Toppings. Yes you can be healthy and choose fruits and nuts, that sort of thing, but seriously, if you're going to splurge, GO ALL OUT. I usually put cookie dough, cheesecake, Snickers, Twix, brownies, mochi (preferably the colored kind), and rainbow sprinkles.  I'm very particular about the rainbow sprinkles, I've loved them since forever. Lately, I've tried to be a bit healthier by putting pecans, almonds, and walnuts on top, and lessening the more junky alternatives. (I'm sure it's not helping much).

3.  Serving Cups. Has anyone noticed they don't offer small cups any more. So you have this gigantic cup and you think, might as well load it up!

4.  Loyalty Cards. I have one to every frozen yogurt shop in the Northern Virginia metro area. It's awesome.

Conclusion, I love frozen yogurt!

I Have a Semi-Independent 4 Year Old!

A few weeks back, I noticed my four year old would wake up, wake his brother up, and together, they would start their morning party.  This would continue until, baby brother started to get tired (usually an hour before nap time) and start having a melt down. I believe this melt down would also be a result of being woken up too soon. As I would like to get MORE sleep, I started threatening the four year old against waking up his baby brother, unless he was already awake.  This resulted in waking up even earlier for some reason, and sneaking stealthily down the stairs, to watch TV. I discovered him one morning, at 6:15, watching PBS. I think Arthur was on (never understood the appeal of that show). I told him he has to tell me before he turns on the TV, he can't just do it himself (also I hide the remote at night when I'm done watching to prevent him.)  So this is the new morning drill. He wakes up approximately between Arthur, Martha Speaks, or if I'm really lucky, Curious George. (Don't judge me, he's watching PBS and I'm sure everyone else knows the local listings for their kids' favorite cartoons.) He'll come into my room and announce A. He didn't wake up his brother, his brother is still sleeping, or some variation of that statement, and B. Can he watch a cartoon?  I tell him A. Good job, and B. Yes he can. I go back to sleep, and think "YES!!! More sleep! He can take care of himself!" 5 minutes later, I hear him running up the stairs, he can't find the remote. The remote is ... where is the remote? My brain's foggy, oh yeah it's on the counter. 10 minutes later, he runs back up, "I'm hungry." "Go eat a granola bar." "Okay!" 15 minutes later, "I'm finished, here's the wrapper!" "Go throw it away please." "Okay!"  5 minutes later, "I got granola everywhere, it's a big mess!" "Okay" "Can you come clean it?" (My kids are a little obsessive about cleaning.) "No I'll clean it later." "Okay."  10 minutes later, "I'm hungry again." "Go grab some tomatoes and wash them off." "NO! I want cereal, or a sandwich!"  At this point, his dad is either still in deep sleep, or begging me to get him out of the room, and I think, "What's the point? Might as well get up."  So I sneak downstairs to make myself a bowl of cereal, just as I pour the milk, I heard the unmistakable voice of my second, "Mama??!! Mamaaaaaaaa!!!!" Yup it's great having a semi-independent 4 year old.

Funny Conversations With Friends

The other day I was ranting to one of my friends. I was complaining about how my kids were unruly and driving me crazy, especially my older son. The boys were watching Curious George at the moment, and I made an observation about him. "He's a bit of an @** h***, isn't he?" My friend said, "Oh they all are sometimes, but he's usually very sweet."  I replied laughing, "I mean George."  This was followed by, "Oh..." and looks of embarrassment.  I was dying of laughter, but she was mortified. I told her not to worry, sometimes the kids are that way too.

Observation #571

Sometimes, I wonder if my kids have multiple personalities. My four year old will be throwing toys, games, books, etc. at his younger brother. The baby will be screaming and crying from the torture, and big brother will see the result of his actions. He will then go hug and kiss his baby brother and cuddle with him. All will be right with the world...until big brother finds another object he wants to lob at his sibling.

The Song of the Pre-Nap Morning

This is my original work, please give me credit if you plan on using it. Thanks!

My hair is falling out

And it’s starting to go gray

I want to scream and shout

These boys are wild today

It started early this morning

A 6:30 wake up call

I was dreaming and definitely snoring

Then get hit in the face with a ball

Mama! Shouts Thing 1

I’m hungry! Is what he’d say

Sleep time’s over, it’s done

It’s time for me to start my day

Mama I want cereal!

Mama I want cheese!

Breakfast is an ordeal

Can I get a thank you, please?

Then I hearing the screaming

Of Thing 2 up the stairs

“Is she ever coming?”

“Is there anyone that cares?”

Coming baby boy

Mama’s On the way

Then I slip on a toy

God **** it, is what I want to say

But I have to hold my breath

And keep the bad words in

If they ever hear me curse

I’ll be sure to hear the word again

I go to grab the baby

And hold him close to me

But then definitely, not maybe

I notice he’s head to toe in pee

We go to the shower

And scrape the pee clothes off

Barely been awake an hour

These boys make sure no time is lost

And now a quick change later

We comb over his hair

Dress him up in fresh clothes

We make our way down the stairs

Curious George is blaring

The cereal is still uneaten

Thing 1 is too busy staring

A TV zombie is my greeting

“Finish breakfast, or the TV is off”

I say to him, realizing

I never turned it on to begin with

This kid is truly amazing

He eats his breakfast quickly

Not wanting to miss a beat

Then he smiles at me slickly

And makes a face that’s good enough to eat

But Thing 2 is demanding

He’s waiting to be fed

I wish I was multi-handed

It’s the hungry screaming that I dread

I’m working on your breakfast

Just hold on a minute please

I’m not going to starve you, baby

Here eat some string cheese

But the picky eater in him

Decides he doesn’t like dairy today

What are the other options?

Bananas and fruit are on the way

So we finish up the meal

And clean up all around

Then I hear a ghastly squeal

I’m afraid to even turn around

Cheerios, cheerios everywhere

In every nook and cranny

It’s my fault I even left it there

I wish we had a nanny

Pull out the good old vacuum

And suck up all those buggers

Send Thing 1 to the time out room

For making the mess with baby brother

Is it time for nap time yet

I say loudly to myself

But you can of course bet

It’s not even near 12

Beyond His Years

Yesterday, my two year old was insistent on throwing one of the pillow cushions down the stairs, to the laundry. He cried and cried, but I wouldn't open the basement door because I had no idea what he wanted to do with the cushion, so I refused to open the door. He dragged it around the house for a bit, then put it back nicely on the sofa. After I put him to sleep, my husband and I noticed a faint throw up smell on the sofa. We checked all the pillows and cushions, and sure enough, one of them had a little throw up on them. The baby was just trying to clean up his mess. I love him...

Fight?

This morning my four year old asked, "Mama, where's Baba?" I told him he's asleep because he wasn't feeling well. My two year old pipes in and says, "No! Baba's working in the plane!" (My husband had just come back from a trip.)  The four year old says, "No, Zaqooshi, Baba's sleeping." Two year old, "No Baba plane!!!" Then they start to fight and hit each other over who's right. Boys are so weird...