The Song of the Pre-Nap Morning

This is my original work, please give me credit if you plan on using it. Thanks!

My hair is falling out

And it’s starting to go gray

I want to scream and shout

These boys are wild today

It started early this morning

A 6:30 wake up call

I was dreaming and definitely snoring

Then get hit in the face with a ball

Mama! Shouts Thing 1

I’m hungry! Is what he’d say

Sleep time’s over, it’s done

It’s time for me to start my day

Mama I want cereal!

Mama I want cheese!

Breakfast is an ordeal

Can I get a thank you, please?

Then I hearing the screaming

Of Thing 2 up the stairs

“Is she ever coming?”

“Is there anyone that cares?”

Coming baby boy

Mama’s On the way

Then I slip on a toy

God **** it, is what I want to say

But I have to hold my breath

And keep the bad words in

If they ever hear me curse

I’ll be sure to hear the word again

I go to grab the baby

And hold him close to me

But then definitely, not maybe

I notice he’s head to toe in pee

We go to the shower

And scrape the pee clothes off

Barely been awake an hour

These boys make sure no time is lost

And now a quick change later

We comb over his hair

Dress him up in fresh clothes

We make our way down the stairs

Curious George is blaring

The cereal is still uneaten

Thing 1 is too busy staring

A TV zombie is my greeting

“Finish breakfast, or the TV is off”

I say to him, realizing

I never turned it on to begin with

This kid is truly amazing

He eats his breakfast quickly

Not wanting to miss a beat

Then he smiles at me slickly

And makes a face that’s good enough to eat

But Thing 2 is demanding

He’s waiting to be fed

I wish I was multi-handed

It’s the hungry screaming that I dread

I’m working on your breakfast

Just hold on a minute please

I’m not going to starve you, baby

Here eat some string cheese

But the picky eater in him

Decides he doesn’t like dairy today

What are the other options?

Bananas and fruit are on the way

So we finish up the meal

And clean up all around

Then I hear a ghastly squeal

I’m afraid to even turn around

Cheerios, cheerios everywhere

In every nook and cranny

It’s my fault I even left it there

I wish we had a nanny

Pull out the good old vacuum

And suck up all those buggers

Send Thing 1 to the time out room

For making the mess with baby brother

Is it time for nap time yet

I say loudly to myself

But you can of course bet

It’s not even near 12